Almost all of my tables bugged the crap out of me today. Maybe it was because I was back at work after two days off. Or maybe it was all the freaks that showed up for Happy Hour. Where do these Happy Hour crazies come from? It's like they appear from an alternate universe with synchronized watches telling them when and where all of the best happy hours are in town. They never come out during normal lunch or dinner hours. Full Price?!?! They can't even comprehend that style of dining. They hibernate during these times, gain strength and energy at home (or in their caves), aggressively researching and waiting until that perfect moment when they know they need to hit the road to arrive at the exact minute happy hour starts. They have it all planned out. "Ok. Happy Hour is two hours long. If we order four drinks each round along with two appetizers every 30 minutes, we can maximize our happy hour drinking and eating and walk out of here under $100."
I completely understand. It's a great deal. I go to happy hours too. It's the same delicious food and drink that I would normally get at a discounted price. Of course people like getting more for their money... especially in this economy. But it's the happy hour fanatics that bother me and that bother us servers in general. It's the people that double and triple check their drink order to make sure it's on happy hour. "That's on happy hour right? "I just want the happy hour priced one." "Whatever the happy hour price is, I want that." "As long as it's on happy hour I don't really care." Once you hear these repetitive questions over and over again, it truly starts driving you crazy. What's also annoying is that most people don't consider when dining during happy hour is that everything is essentially half off (more or less), which equates to the bill being half as much. This is what bothers us. We do the same amount of work and spend the same amount of energy for about half the tips... or much less, because let's face it... the happy hour fanatics sure ain't tippin' twenty percent!
Take, for example, a table I had today. It was two older ladies. When I first greeted their table , immediately one of them said, "We need separate checks." Great. Then promptly ordered off the Happy Hour menu.. of course. She ordered three out of the seven happy hour items (a lot of food, in my opinion). Of course she ordered a happy hour glass of wine too. Then her friend ordered a beer. She double checked that it was one of the beers on happy hour. "Yes, of course it is." I said with a perfect grin (acting my way through happy hour as usual). They got their food, ordered more drinks just before happy hour was over (perfect synchronized watches .. right on schedule). Then, of course, they sipped painfully slowly on their last drinks. After happy hour had come to a close, I brought them the bill (because lord knows they weren't ordering anything of the regular menu). A few minutes went by and I noticed one of the ladies was waving her arm in the air. "Oh no, what now," I thought. What's wrong. She asked me, "I thought you said these appetizers were half off?" I look at their check... did I ring it in correctly? Yes I did. She thought the prices on the happy hour menu were the regular prices and therefore the happy hour should have been half of those prices. Where do these people come from!! I responded gently, "Those are the happy hour prices ma'am." I walked away knowing I wasn't going to make jack off that table. And I was correct. They each gave me about ten percent off the happy hour prices. All of that for a measly six bucks, which during regular hours would have been closer to $24.
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