Can you hear me now?

Restaurants should have a no cell phone policy just like movie theaters do.  

It’s unbelievable the disrespect people have for others around them and for the servers and staff who are there to serve them.  It seems like practically everyday there is another cell phone incident I could write about.  However, at this moment, the following four situations have come to baffle me the most. 

About a month ago, I had a guy talking on his phone so loud the table next to him had to move right after their lunches were delivered.  From the moment he sat down at his table, his voice was projecting so loud that even people at a few tables away were annoyed and mentioned something to me.  It was embarrassing to watch and difficult to deal with.  And the kicker?  He was actually dining with his son, and hardly ever said a word to him the entire hour they were there.  This man was completely clueless. 

Last week there was a guy sitting at the bar by himself talking on his phone and using headphones (you know the ones with the microphone on the wire near your mouth).  These devises are by far the worst in public places.  Not only do the users feel like they have to scream so the person on the other end can hear, they also can only hear the other person on the other end because the sound is going directly to their ear drum.  We’ve all seen people using this technology.  But I’m pretty sure these headphones were meant to be used in a car, by yourself.  Sitting along at a bar in a fine dining restaurant is the last place for this type of usage.   Again, this fellow was so loud that no one wanted to sit anywhere near him.  My section was near the bar that day and therefore, no one wanted to sit around him.  I was essentially loosing money during my shift that day because of this oblivious businessman; or perhaps he wasn’t oblivious, just arrogant. 

A few days ago I had a table with a couple who shouldn’t have even been in the restaurant for another 20 minutes.  For about the first ten minutes, the male was on the phone.  As a server, we prefer to wait for our guests to get off their phones in order to greet the table professionally and as a group.   But after five minutes or so, I went over to the female at the table and she just waved at me to come back.  I waited about five more minutes.  Then I noticed, the female was now on the phone and the male was giving me the “just a few more minutes” look.  She was on the phone for a good ten minutes, just like he was.   Again, we as servers could potentially be losing money in this situation.  We could be turning the table over faster (therefore, getting an additional table before the lunch rush is over) and making more money.  I literally didn’t even get to say hello to them for a good twenty minutes after they sat down.  And at that point, I just wanted to say, “Are you sure you’re ready to listen to me now?  You promise you won’t answer the phone in the middle of me telling you the special?  Do you even really want to eat here?”

I had a guy a couple weeks ago that was literally on his phone the entire time he was at the restaurant.  I didn’t go over to him for about his first 10 minutes because I assumed he was going to get off the phone eventually.  He finally flagged me down (so rude), then held the phone down away from his mouth long enough to order a glass of Merlot and a few sushi rolls.  Then immediately he put his phone back up to his ear, kept talking and pushed the menu to the edge of the table.  This type of interaction continued through the check presentation and my final thank you and goodbye.   I’m pretty sure he left the restaurant still deep into his conversation, in which sounded like an argument with his wife. 

Why do people want to share their personal business with strangers?  It baffles me.   And since when did it become “okay” to fight with someone on the phone sitting at a table at a restaurant?   Or when did it seem okay to crunch numbers with a business associate via phone call at a bar by yourself.  It’s beyond rude, and as I mentioned earlier, it just makes the person look so egotistical or clueless. Hang up and take your call outside. 

I love my cell phone as much as the next person.  It’s a miracle really.  A hand-held computer is amazing and the technology is mind-boggling.  But I think the manuals should have a “ General Courtesy Section. “  Not that anyone would actually read it.  Who reads manuals to anything anymore.  I mean seriously.  

Aside from the sociology of it all, it’s difficult for servers to have respect for these types.  We are in the hospitality business of helping others.  We treat you very well and we expect to be treated the same.  So when people are disrespectful, we get feisty.  We get angry.   And we will talk about you in the side stations with other servers. 

Guaranteed. 

And we just might post something about you on Facebook, via our fancy little hand-held computers.
~ HK ~

The Human Connection

I waited on this young, adorable Columbian couple a couple days ago (one of the greeters likes to seat me guests who speak Spanish just so she can see the look on their faces when the blonde Gringa speaks their language).  As soon as I hear my guests speaking Spanish, I immediately ask, “De donde son?”  I learned they were Columbian, and so naturally, I immediately told them I’d been there.  Of course they were familiar with all the places I’d traveled.  And boom, as simple as that, I made my instant connection.  After my initial conversation with them, I quickly told another server (who’s actually Columbian) to go say hello.  It’s one thing if I make a language and travel connection to guests, but it takes that connection to a much deeper level when I can introduce them to someone who is actually from their country.  My fellow Columbian server went over there and chatted it up for a while, laughing and sharing in their mutual connection.  I knew they’d appreciate meeting a fellow Columbian in San Diego.  Who wouldn’t want to talk to someone from their own country while traveling abroad?  My effort in making multiple connections paid off, as in a 25% tip paid off, which I’d like to think wouldn’t have been as high if I hadn’t of put in the extra effort.   Not only did it pay off financially, it paid off for me personally, because as they walked away, I felt so satisfied inside, like I actually made a difference in their day.  

Later that evening (as I was knocking out a double shift), I met a sweet, older Belgian couple.  When I first started to wait on them, they were a bit shy and reserved.  They weren’t speaking much English, so I was pointing to the menu a lot and speaking as slowly and clearly as possible.  Yes that can be frustrating (especially on a busy night), but its part of the nature of working at a restaurant of this caliber, and not to mention iconic, internationally renowned Downtown San Diego.  Between their basic, broken English, I somehow managed to figure out what style of dry white wine they desired, and after deciding on one, they seemed to enjoy it.  As the flow of the evening progressed, they mostly talked among themselves and didn’t interact with me much.  However, either with some liquid courage or whatever mood suddenly struck them, at the end of their meal, the female started to engage in conversation with me.  She asked me about some tourist areas and the bridge to Coronado.  She actually spoke better English than I’d realized.  Not great, but good enough.  She was stumbling, but I helped her through it.  She asked me if I had something she could take home, but couldn’t remember the word.   She started describing it, using hand motions and everything, fumbling over words and obviously getting frustrated.  Finally I realized she was talking about wanting matches.  She apparently collected matches from her travels all over the world and wanted some from our restaurant.  I immediately brought her two packs of matches.  I then took a page from my server pad and wrote in all caps, “MATCHES” so she would know the word for next time.  In the end, they both said they would always remember me whenever they looked at those matches, and how friendly and kind I’d been to them.  That made my night.   

For me, making a personal connection, bringing a smile to someone’s face and giving them something to remember forever is what truly makes my day memorable.  Because if all I consider myself is a server, than I’d be miserable.

 

It’s all about making connections in this world.  Whether it’s through using another language, or using another server, or using slow, pronounced English, it’s all worth it. 

And it makes me feel good.   ~ HK ~

Fancy a British Invasion?

A large convention full of Europeans passed through town again and our restaurant got hit hard. As much as we love being busy, let's face it, the Euros aren't exactly our favorite clientele.  Espressos, wine and beer abound, yet not much abound in our wallets at the end of the day.

The notorious low tippers were back in full force.  Most of us were lucky to get $5 tips on tabs over $200, but more common was the sight of coins left as tips on $100 tabs.  

One server, poor thing, got stiffed on a $300 check. They didn't speak much English, were her first table to arrive and last to leave.  They drank several bottles of Prosecco and were apparently very needy on top of that ... big surprise.  She actually asked the man to “total the bill please” after she noticed he simply signed his name on the credit card slip.  After she asked, all he did was write the same amount as the check on the bottom line.  Needless to say she was livid.   He knew damn well what she was referring to.  Even $10 would have been infuriating.  But nothing?  C’mon man.  

It could have happened to any one of us that day.  

As for myself, I somehow got lucky.   Almost every foreigner I waited on were Brits.  

There was huge amount of the beloved British in this Euro conference as well.  The servers and I thoroughly enjoyed imitating their classic British accents in the side stations (albeit quietly) for the majority of the week.  Wildly entertaining.  "Allo.  Fancy a beer, do ya?!  Brilliant!  Cheers mate!"  

I must have had some stellar karma on my side because generally I was tipped very well during their visit.  I had a blast with the Brits.  In fact, on the first day of the convention, one of my tables of two somewhat attractive Brits couldn’t seem to finish their second bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.  So they graciously told me I could have it.  It was just half full.   Stoked.  And the bloke actually tipped me 25% on his tab too.  Between the wine and the 25% tip, I'd say I was pretty happy.  As happy as...well... a Brit drinking wine outside in the sunshine in San Diego.  Of course I told them to come back anytime.  

And damn they did ever.  

The British invasion proceeded in full force for the next four days (their livers obviously tuned up and well-groomed for their plans of total debauchery in San Diego).  Wow they could drink.  They literally drank us dry of our Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc during their 5-day conference.  For the even rowdier bunch, a disturbing amount of Beefeater, Tanqueray and Bombay Sapphire vanished in a flash.  They were in our restaurant literally every day and every evening, glass after glass, bottle after bottle, soaking in the California sunshine and embracing the ability to drink outdoors in October (without a coat or a scarf ... or long underwear).  They were (insert British accent) massively entertaining. 

Perhaps it wasn’t my amazing karma that helped me get excellent tips the whole week.  Maybe it was the fact that most of them had flushed cheeks and couldn't see straight by the time the bill came.

No mind to me.  I was pretty happy.  As happy as ... well... a server with heaps of cool guests who tip well and are highly entertaining.  Serving up the Brits (a fascinating heavy drinking breed of humanity) with a smile.

Cheers.  ~ HK ~