It's amazing how quickly us industry people can read a guest. We can tell within seconds whether they'll be talkative or shy, friendly or rude, drink alcohol or even tip well. If the guests don't look you in the eye, they're probably shy, not going to be drinking much or at all, and sometimes it means they won't be great tippers. This doesn't mean I'm going to treat them any differently, I'll probably just spend a lot less time trying to chit chat and connect with them because I know it won't make any difference whatsoever. In fact, making small talk might make these people even more uncomfortable and tip even less.
My very first table today was one of these guests. It was a two top, a young couple seated on our patio. I walked up to them and smiled, "Hi and welcome! Can I get you two something to drink to get you started?" The awkward pause and brief silence followed, both of their heads were down. The woman quietly said, "Water is fine." The man curtly replied with the same comment. As I walked away, I immediately knew these people were going to be bad tippers. I tried to change their attitude by chit chatting a bit the next time I went there. Nope, I got denied. I know my boundaries. At this point I pretty much gave up on the small talk. But of course, I did my job as best as I could and just try to provide exceptional service. And what do you know, the cranky twosome had an issue with something - our soy sauce. I brought them a different kind, as well as my busser. I honestly tried my hardest to make the experience unforgettable. Their check was $37 ... tip was $3.00. Not even ten percent. That's almost a slap in the face. That was my first table of the day. Nothing I could have done would have made him tip more. I did all I could do. They were just that couple of the day.
My second table was an older couple, sitting inside. They didn't say much, but had a pleasant smile. Neither of them wanted a beverage either and wanted to order right away. My gut told me this was going to be another awkward, low-tipping table. But again, I forged on to try to engage them. This time it worked. They both opened up about visiting from Phoenix, asking me about local tourist activities and the female ended up telling me she just beat cancer. Wow. Their mood lifted and became much friendlier toward me. I managed to break them out of their shell. This couple took me a bit longer to figure out, but once I did, it was all smiles and thank yous. They left me a 20% tip.
Reading people is definitely a refined and useful skill, especially in any hospitality industry. As they say in poker, "You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." Should I push a little more to try to turn their day around (like I did with the older couple), or should I just let them be because it's not going matter in the end anyway (as I did with the first table).
As a server you have to love people - good, bad or otherwise - because our jobs are a people driven business. We sell the same product, day in and day out (more or less). It's the people that make our jobs fascinating... happy, shy, sad, bitter, awkward, demanding, cancer survivors and everything in between.
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