TMI

It’s fascinating to me what kind of personal information people will share with their servers.  We (servers) are total strangers to our guests, and yet, some feel completely comfortable telling us information I would only feel comfortable telling a best friend or my mother.

I waited on a cute little old frail lady who gave me details on her recent dental surgery, apparently justifying why she had cheesecake for lunch.  She was pulling her lip down, explaining how tender her gums were and pointing to her teeth that had recently been worked on.  Needless to say, I did not look into her mouth while she was showing me only what a dentist should ever be allowed to see.  I just kept eye contact until she was finished explaining.  Then I told her, “Good luck with everything,” smiled and moved onto my next table.

A very common (along with my favorite) TMI situation usually happens when couples are out on a date.   At times it can get fantastically awkward like uncomfortable silences, or when it comes time to pay and they both just stare at the bill for 20 minutes or when they both Ping-Pong back and forth: “You order.” “No, you can order.”  “No go ahead.”  “No YOU go!”  Oh my god.  Someone go.   But the best is when it comes to one of the people sharing intimate details about the other person, sometimes going as far as delving into their recent newfound sex life.  I’m not lying.  This actually happens.  Usually this occurs when one of them has just stepped away to the restroom.   It’s like some women, and yes, even some men, actually can’t wait until the other person is gone so they can gossip, get advice and tell me their darkest secrets of the person they’re out with.  I actually had one guy tell me he was on his third date of the day.   Was he hitting on me to try to get a fourth?   Of course, generally speaking, if alcohol is involved, the probability of either one of them spilling their guts to me increases tenfold.   I love it. Bottoms up. 

In a completely different type of scenario, a rather uncomfortable, yet shockingly common TMI situation in our industry is when people tell us they have stomach issues and therefore, can’t eat much.  Okay, stating “stomach issues” is the most courteous way of letting us know of your ailment.  However, some people like to share precise details of their episodes with us, in which I will spare you from at this moment.  But you can use your imagination.  Diners, please tell us you’re having a stomachache and leave it alone.   There’s never a need for further details in regards to that. 

Not often do the tables turn and it’s the server who ends up giving out way too much information.   This might not happen to every server during his or her career, but it happened to me the other day. 

I must have been in an unusually playful mood.

I waited on a father and daughter from Minnesota. They were pleasant to talk to but they were nothing out of the ordinary in the beginning.  After I took their drink order, the dad immediately asked me, “So where are you from?”  I told them,  “Orange County.  About an hour and a half north of here.”   He replied, “So, a So Cal girl all the way.”  I replied, “Absolutely.”  I smiled and walked away to get their drinks.   I thought, “This guy seems cool.”  I liked him already.  I went back to their table and dropped off iced tea and coffee and proceeded to take their food order. 

Right after the dad ordered, he asked, “Are you married? ”  Whoa.  Where did that come from?  “Well… no I’m not married.  Although, I am kind of dating a guy, but it’s not serious.  He’s a lot younger than me.”  I gasped.  Oh my god.  Did I just say that out loud to my table?  He responded honestly, “Well that’s alright.”  I smiled, paused and continued, “I know.  Actually…  I was married.  I’m divorced.  So I’m just having fun right now.  A lot of fun.” (And, yes, I emphasized the words “a lot”).  Again!  Really? What am I doing?  He smiled and said, “As you should!”  I felt better.  The daughter smiled and looked up at me, “He likes to ask a lot of questions.”  I replied, “I noticed.”

At this point, I was blushing.  I was shaking my head in disbelief as I was putting their order into the computer.  Just then another server popped into the side station.  He asked, “What’s up?”  I smiled and said, “I can’t believe what I just told my table.”  I was in disbelief.  How did this stranger seem to get all that info out of me so easily? 

Next time I walked by their table, I noticed two people had joined them.   The two seemed like other family members, perhaps his wife and daughter.  When I greeted them again, the father introduced me, “This is Heidi.  She’s sort of dating a younger guy and is from Orange County.”  They all laughed.  I grinned.  Does he get this chummy with all of his servers?  It was so bizarre.  But I loved it.  What a cool dude. 

After they finished their desserts, I dropped the check.  Apparently he still had a burning question.  “So how much younger?  Ten years?”  I laughed and blushed even more this time.  “Eight,” I proudly responded.   The daughter cheered, “You go girl!”  Oh geese.  Talk about TMI.   My personal information wasn’t too risqué by any means, but given the professional environment I was in, it might not have been the ideal place to delve into my dating life. 

Then again, who cares?  He was having fun with me and I was having fun back.  And sometimes that’s all that matters.  It’s not Etiquette 101 and I’m certainly not in the top story of a New York City high-rise dressed in a three-piece power suit discussing his portfolio.  I’m simply serving humanity… with a smile… and a giggle… and sometimes, with a little something extra.  ~ HK ~