What
type of person do you think of when you visualize a server? Perhaps friendly, outgoing and a people
person. Sure. But what else? A student?
A college drop out? A partier?
The
idea of what people think about servers - as human beings - outside of
waiting tables continues to fascinate me.
There’s
this couple. They’ve been regulars at
our restaurant for years. They are a
very friendly, attractive and affluent couple who just celebrated their 25-year
Anniversary at our restaurant a few weeks ago.
I’ve been waiting on them for over three years.
Yesterday,
on a rather slow Wednesday, we actually got into a deeper conversation than the
go-to “How are you?” banter. They were
sitting at the bar. I wasn’t even their
server. Perhaps that’s why I felt like I
could open up more than usual. I
walked over and said hello. Immediately,
our conversation dived into dating and relationships (probably because another server was just talking to them about his upcoming wedding blah blah blah). I told them my parents
had just celebrated their 43rd Anniversary (I even showed them a
photo of my parents at their recent celebration). They asked if I had a boyfriend. Not
even close... (hence the slight wedding resentment). I told them I was very single
and gave them some insight into the dating world in 2014. I could tell at this point they thought I was
younger and they clearly had no clue I’d been married years ago. In
their defense, how could they know?
When
I broke the news I’d been married they were shocked. I proceeded to tell them I used to co-own two
restaurants in South America with my ex-husband. The
wife looked at me like I just told her I was really a man. Her and her husband couldn’t believe it and
she continued, “You sound like you’re 50 years old! But you look like you’re twenty-six!” She was
puzzled to say the least. I told
them how old I was and the shock waves continued.
Partially,
I have my parent’s amazing genes to thank for my younger appearance (love you Mom and Dad!). But the main reason they felt that way is because they only know me as a server. I’m
pretty sure the uniforms throw people off too.
General
server profile: twenty-something, recent
college grad, (or still attending school on the four-to-five {or eight} year college plan) or the ever-present artist. It’s like aside from potentially going to
school, we’re thought of as “just servers.”
As if serving defines who we are.
We can’t possibly have done
anything interesting outside of waiting tables… Can we?
And
it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s a societal
thing.
As
much as I don’t like the fact that the general public views us as “just servers,” I
also revel in the idea that I have the ability to blow people’s minds about my
life and my past and that I am a multi-dimensional human being. If people saw servers differently, I feel
like we’d get a lot more respect. (And
in no way, shape or form am I implying this couple has ever had a lack of respect
for servers). I am saying this in a very general sense.
This couple just brought this topic to the forefront of my thoughts yesterday. I’d been waiting on them for over three years
and they had a completely different perspective on who I am, solely for the
reason that they only knew me as “a server.”
To
all of my readers and fellow diners out there, I have a proposition. Next time you go out to eat, ask your server
what they do outside of waiting tables.
I bet you’ll find it fascinating what it is they do or have done in
their past or what it is they’re working on for their future.
And of course, if
they tell you they’re on the eight-year college plan, you can have yourself a little
chuckle.
Your
welcome. ~ HK ~
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