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Saturday, January 19, 2013

What Are Some Men Thinking?


About a month ago, an older gentleman came in and dined with his wife and two kids.  He was very talkative and friendly and apparently owns several restaurants in Mexico.  Because I used to own and operate a couple restaurants myself, I obligatorily mentioned it to him as well.  He seemed very impressed, intrigued and wanted to learn more.  He was shocked to learn my businesses were in Chile (of course it was at this point he realized why I spoke Spanish so well).  Luckily, I was busy with other tables so I didn’t really get into too much detail with him (not to mention his wife was sitting next to him so I figured it’d be best to keep the conversation to a minimum).   After a pleasurable dining experience, he used his black American Express card and tipped me a solid 20%.  I was happy I could share a common bond with this stranger, as I knew I left a memorable impression.

Apparently it was too memorable. 

Last night, he came back; only this time with a friend, sin su familia (without his family).  As he said hello and asked if I remembered him, he gave me the standard Latin kiss on the cheek - uh oh.  He wanted to take up all of my time as he kept calling my name and asking me to come over to him.  Again, luckily, my section was full so I couldn’t really stand around and chitchat.  He did manage to tell me one of his restaurants in Mexico was a Hooter’s and that I would be a great host.  At this point, I wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or be offended.  Regardless, I was too busy to put too much thought into it.  After his second tequila, he called me over again and told me he’d like to “get to know me better” and asked what kind of food I liked. 

Let me review some of the reasons why this is highly inappropriate.

1.  I’m working.  Don’t ask a female out to dinner while she’s serving you drinks. 
2. He’s married.  Does he honestly think I don’t remember his first visit when he came in with his wife and kids?
3. He’s lying.  When a male asked a female to dinner (and he mentioned Fleming’s of all places), it’s common knowledge that it’s not going to be to just “get to know someone” better as friends. There might be a Latin kiss hello in the beginning of the night, but he will most likely be expecting a French one at the end... and most likely much more than that.  
4.  He makes his living in the restaurant industry.  I’m sure he doesn’t like it when customers hit on his staff.  Shouldn’t he act with the same respect and courtesy?

I’ve written about men hitting on their servers in the past (reference I’m not flirting, it’s business), but I feel the need to mention it again.  As females, we get harassed a lot in this environment, much more than the average person would believe.  Not only does it make it awkward for us in the moment but in their future visits as well.  On top of that, there is the potential of loosing a good repeat client (he was, after all, a 20% + tipper).

A note to men: keep the flirting to women who are drinking with you at the bar, not while they’re serving you one.  ~ HK ~

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