About a month ago, an older gentleman came in and dined with
his wife and two kids. He was very
talkative and friendly and apparently owns several restaurants in Mexico. Because I used to own and operate a couple
restaurants myself, I obligatorily mentioned it to him as well. He seemed very impressed, intrigued and
wanted to learn more. He was shocked to
learn my businesses were in Chile (of course it was at this point he realized
why I spoke Spanish so well). Luckily, I
was busy with other tables so I didn’t really get into too much detail with him
(not to mention his wife was sitting next to him so I figured it’d be best to
keep the conversation to a minimum).
After a pleasurable dining experience, he used his black American
Express card and tipped me a solid 20%.
I was happy I could share a common bond with this stranger, as I knew I
left a memorable impression.
Apparently it was too memorable.
Last night, he came back; only this time with a friend, sin su familia (without his
family). As he said hello and asked if I
remembered him, he gave me the standard Latin kiss on the cheek - uh oh.
He wanted to take up all of my time as he kept calling my name and
asking me to come over to him. Again,
luckily, my section was full so I couldn’t really stand around and
chitchat. He did manage to tell me one
of his restaurants in Mexico was a Hooter’s and that I would be a great
host. At this point, I wasn’t sure
whether to take that as a compliment or be offended. Regardless, I was too busy to put too much
thought into it. After his second
tequila, he called me over again and told me he’d like to “get to know me better”
and asked what kind of food I liked.
Let me review some of the reasons why this is highly
inappropriate.
1. I’m working. Don’t ask a female out to dinner while she’s
serving you drinks.
2. He’s married. Does
he honestly think I don’t remember his first visit when he came in with his
wife and kids?
3. He’s lying. When a
male asked a female to dinner (and he mentioned Fleming’s of all places), it’s
common knowledge that it’s not going to be to just “get to know someone” better
as friends. There might be a Latin
kiss hello in the beginning of the night, but he will most likely be expecting
a French one at the end... and most likely much more than that.
4. He makes his
living in the restaurant industry. I’m
sure he doesn’t like it when customers hit on his staff. Shouldn’t he act with the same respect and
courtesy?
I’ve written about men hitting on their servers in the past
(reference I’m not flirting, it’s business),
but I feel the need to mention it again.
As females, we get harassed a lot in this environment, much more than
the average person would believe. Not
only does it make it awkward for us in the moment but in their future visits as
well. On top of that, there is the
potential of loosing a good repeat client (he was, after all, a 20% + tipper).
A note to men: keep the flirting to women who are drinking with you at the bar, not while they’re
serving you one. ~ HK ~
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