Drama

While sitting at my desk the other day at my annoying and painfully boring office job, my friend/co-worker checked out my blog for the first time.  Her reaction shook me up a bit.  She blurted out, “You haven’t written anything in a year?!”   I checked.  Ugh.  She’s right.  Insert rolling-eyes emoji. 

My excuse was that my blog was about the restaurant industry and that I hadn’t worked in a restaurant since April of 2015.  Clearly, I’ve written a few closure pieces since I retired my server apron, but that was still a year ago.  And that shouldn’t be an excuse to quit altogether.  And a good writer can always find something to write about… right?

No more excuses. After almost exactly one year since I haven’t written a damn thing for Serving Humanity, I’m diving in … deep… once again.

Stress comes with practically every job imaginable around the world and back…. aside from maybe a tollbooth operator on a highway no one drives on.  But I imagine most don’t deal with the type of high-stress servers deal with when they are waiting tables at a very busy, very demanding - and poorly managed - corporate restaurant, every single time they clock in.

Picture Deadliest Catch… but without the Bering Sea and all of that crab.  I spent way too many days in the industry when the entire serving staff felt like we were about to enter a menacing hailstorm with 40-foot swells and would have rather dove right into the frigid waters than face the shift ahead of us.  “You want me to take a VIP twelve-top AND a full section??!!”  Or perhaps, “So you’re telling me I’m on the patio today when we only have ONE busser on this beautiful sunny San Diego Saturday??!!”  Or this very traumatic common scenario, “You just triple sat me right when all four of my other tables need wine service?!?”  I’d rather walk right up to the bow of the boat, swan dive into the North Pacific and die of hypothermia.

Alright fine.  Maybe crab fishing during a hailstorm in the Bering Sea in 100mph winds is slightly more stressful than waiting tables on a sunny Saturday when you’re down two bussers.  I will say, however, it can feel like you’re on the Northwestern entering a fierce extratropical cyclone because the anxiety and intensity has got to be damn near equivalent.

Why am I writing about stress and the Deadliest Catch?

I vented about how stressful the hospitality industry can be in my last post, which makes me realize something very important.  Stress parallels drama.  Drama makes life exciting.  I must miss the excitement.  I know I miss the drama!  And apparently, this means I miss the stress too.

Really?  I do?  I can hear my Mom, “But office jobs are so stable, honey! It’s time to quit that serving job!”  This next statement pretty much sums up how I feel working in an office 40 hours a week:  Captain Sig! I’m diving in! Don’t try to save me!

Life without a little stress gets very boring.  I realize now it’s better for me to have some stress in my career than to sit at a desk all day and stare at a computer screen typing countless emails, making sales calls and obsessing over the fact that I’m going to need glasses any day now.  No, Mom, it’s not my age.  I swear it’s the desk job making my eyes go bad!

So what now?  Return to the hospitality industry to free me from boredom and to save my eyesight? Am I clinically insane?  Well, if you know me, you might say, “Perhaps.”  But what’s not insane is the idea of changing your current navigation to a direction that makes your heart beat a little faster and gives you that rush again.

So if you want to throw your alarm clock fiercely at the wall every morning Monday through Friday like I do, it’s probably time to do something about it.

Funny… I had zero intention of writing a pseudo-motivational career-changing-themed blog post today, but it seems that’s where my head is.  And I owe it all to my friend who called me out at work about not writing anything in a year. 

Looks like I have way more to think about than what to write for my next blog post.

Until then, my weekdays will consist of being depressed about by newfound blurry vision and daydreaming about crab fishing with Captain Sig … or perhaps I should contemplate a career a little less dangerous, but irrefutably just as dramatic.

Guess I should also be contemplating a brand new blog altogether...

~ HK ~

Closure: Part Three. Love/Hate

Although I will never miss a plethora of annoyances about the hospitality industry (note the top ten things I wrote about in my last post), leaving it for good was still extremely tough. 

I equate it to any love/hate relationship.  Imagine a fine dining restaurant at night:  the beautiful surroundings, the twinkle of the dim lights, the women who dine in their stunning dresses and fashionable heels, the luscious cocktails, the smell of sautéed onions and garlic, the sound of the French Cab you just opened tableside and the beauty of pouring it into a big polished wine glass…  Mmm, red wine…  It’s quite romantic really.   But the allure and the romance can quickly be stripped from you when you’re so slammed you can’t even think straight.  The weight of it all can absolutely crush you and frustrate you to the ends of the Earth.  Sometimes it can feel like the stress rips your heart right out from your chest so quickly that you practically lose your breath.  Seriously, that can happen.  But it’s those complexities, the dualities and the mystery of it all, which make this industry so intriguing and keeps its hard working employees begging for more.

Just describing it right now makes me miss it a little bit… Is that weird?

Let me relate it in a different way.  Think about a particular movie you’ve had mixed emotions about.   You swore you hated it at first, but then you couldn’t stop thinking about it.   Perhaps it made you ponder life and death, which kind of freaked you out.  But then later you thought it was great because you were challenged to think so deeply.  At some point the movie made you angry, but then later you felt strangely satisfied. Then at another point in the movie, you felt like a huge weight had lifted off of your shoulders but you weren’t sure why.  But after all of that, for some reason you still thought you hated the movie.  Finally, it took a friend to point out how obsessed you’d become over it, even though you kept admitting you hated it.

Confused?

Exactly.  It’s kind of like that.

I can’t even count how many times during my tenure I’ve thought, "I can’t take this anymore!  I’m done! I quit!"   These are the times I’ve suffered through horrifically stressful shifts dealing with people who felt like direct decedents of the devil himself on top of chaotic madness.  These are the shifts when I'd think, “Why haven't I quit this industry yet?” 

Let me explain … Imagine this... 

One table keeps sending back a meal over and over again because the sauce is “too thick” while the kids at the table next to them are screaming and their parents are demanding their food ASAP. Then you look over at the martinis you ordered ten minutes ago and you notice the ice chips in them have already melted away frustrating the hell out of you because the guests specifically asked for their martinis  “extra chilled with extra ice chips."  Oh yes, and let’s not forget I’m probably down a busser and no one has seen a manager in 20 minutes.  And then, of course, the host informs me, “I just sat you two more tables. Are you okay?”  

That kind of stress. 

I must have been crazy to work in an environment like that, right?  Maybe all of us industry people are a little crazy.  I feel like that’s a pretty accurate statement actually.  Think about anyone you know who’s been in the industry over five years. Am I right?  All crazy.  

Here’s the thing...  when you actually got through hell on earth shift and you realized you handled it, not only did time fly by, but you felt great about yourself because you conquered it all like a champ.  It made you feel great inside.  And after venting with co-workers over the phone (or over a couple of cold pitchers - the preferred method in the industry) you could actually let the day go.  And yes, after a solid night of sleep, I could wake up and be excited to do it all over again.  As crazy as that sounds. 

It’s like I’d survived a near death experience and felt like God had given me another chance at life.  So I’d rejoice my innate hospitality survival skills, praise God for getting me through another shift and put those ugly non-slip shoes on again and - yes, somehow - be excited to potentially plunge into another deathtrap.   

Did I just get too deep for a restaurant industry blog?  Haha!  Maybe you don’t like thinking about life and death synonymous with restaurant life.   Or perhaps you'll be thanking me later because that's the deepest thing you've thought about today.    

Confused?  Your welcome.     ~ HK ~

Closure: Part Two. Top Ten Things I WON'T Miss About The Industry

Well this didn't take long to think about.  

If you're an industry person, you're going to love this.  And if you're not, I hope you will gain perspective from our perspective. 

The Top Ten Things I WON'T Miss About the Industry

1.  Working holidays.   Especially Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day.  Get the idea?

2.  Working every freaking weekend during football season.

3.  Having to leave whatever beautiful activity I was partaking in on a weekend to go to work in the middle of the day.  Super annoying.

4.  Working a long, sweaty and frustrating nine-to-ten hour shift getting 10-15% tips all day because we were understaffed.   Lord, just take me now.

5.  Managing a restaurant when half your staff calls in sick.  I give up. I’ll be hiding in the dry storage room for the remainder of the day. 

6.  Restaurant managers who’ve never been servers.  Yuck. 

7.  Enjoying your beautiful day off and suddenly your manager calls you in because someone else called in sick and you have no choice but to say, "Yes" because you have a great work ethic.  

8.  Self-seaters.  Get outta here. 

9.  People who think they can sit in my restaurant with a different restaurant’s food.  Oh hell no. 

10.  Restaurant managers who are idiots but somehow never get fired.  Hashtag Corporate America Sucks.  ~ HK ~

***Stay tuned for Closure: Part Three.  

Closure: Part One. Industry Insights.

If you’re considering a career in the restaurant industry, this is a must read.  And even if you’re not, I hope you still find the following intriguing on many levels. 

It’s been just over three months since I left the industry.  This “industry,” a.k.a. the restaurant industry, the food and beverage industry, the hospitality industry, whatever you want to call it, is how I’ve made a living for the past decade.

I’ve worked my ass off in every position in the front of the house (everything but culinary).  I’ve been a greeter, a host, a barista, a server, a co-owner, a bartender and a manager (not necessarily in that order).  I’ve worked in corporate environments, family-owned restaurants, seafood restaurants, wine bars, steakhouses, private event venues, sports bars, live music venues, corporate hotel restaurants and I’ve co-owned two California themed restaurants with friends in Santiago, Chile.    

Pretty solid resume for the industry I’d say.

After a few months away from the industry, I’ve been asking myself, “Why did I last so long in this industry?  What was it about this industry that put a smile on my face every day?

I have the perfect personality for it. I am, first and foremost a people pleaser.  Not only am I friendly and outgoing, I honestly enjoy helping others and I thrive on bringing people happiness.  God.  That sounded like the most cheesy hospitality interview answer of all time.  But there you have it.  I genuinely feel that way and it’s one of the key factors in making anyone successful in this industry.

Think about anyone who is negative and unhappy.  Consider that demeanor in a restaurant environment.  This type of personality will never make it in this industry.  We’ve all had those servers or managers (and if you’re an industry person like myself you’ve worked with plenty them), who just looked like they absolutely hated their jobs and quite possibly their lives.  If someone like this were your server, why the hell would you go back and request that server or want to return to that restaurant.  You wouldn’t.  That’s why encompassing that true people pleaser personality is so important.  

Which brings me to my next point. 

You have to be a great actor as well.  Why do you think so many actors are servers before they snag that first big role?  It makes perfect sense.  As much as I can say I’m a positive person, there were days when I was down.  Really down. But I’d never let the guest know.  That’s rule number one.  Or I suppose it could be rule number three or four.  It’s up there anyway.  I can recall numerous times when I’d be standing in the side station almost in tears over a friend moving away or devastated about a death in the family.   But I’d pull it together, shake it off and act like my normal happy self when it was time to serve the public.  You have to.  It’s your livelihood.  And obviously, just as important, when a guest would be rude or obnoxious, you can’t show any sign on your face or in your tone that you think they’re a total douche.   But if you wanted to, there’s a restaurant named Dick’s Last Resort that would be perfect for you.  There are so many people I can think of who wore their emotions on their sleeve.  These people were not successful and, in my personal opinion, should not be in the industry at all.  If you can’t act, get out now.

A true people person is fascinated with all walks of life.  This industry will allow you to connect with them all:  the rich, the poor, the hipsters, the hippies, the family-centered, the loners, the humble, the jerk-offs, the do-gooders and the mobsters.  And I’ve realized after working almost a decade in this industry, clearly not everyone is as enthralled as I am.  

I embrace the weirdos, the eccentrics and the people who make you stop, look twice and whisper, "Oh. Em. Geeeeee," to a fellow co-worker.  They are unique.  For years they’ve provided me with a great amount of unbelievable entertainment (most of which you can read more about in Serving Humanity... duh).  I remember one day when an old guy walked into my restaurant, who looked like a guide from Jurassic Park, with a huge red parrot on his shoulder.  Freakin' fantastic.  I remember a time when an old skinny geeky guy asked for a “table in the shade” while he pointed inside the restaurant.  Amazing.  And I’ll never forget the visor wearing, salt-and-pepper haired guy I waited on for years in two different restaurants who came in religiously every Sunday – wasted! - and made inappropriate comments to me and practically every female in his sight.  Most servers hated waiting on him but I found him hilarious.

I embraced the high-maintenance pricks too, even though they totally sucked to deal with at the time.  Because at the end of the day, you’d find out who you truly were and I found that quite rewarding.   I can recall countless occasions when guests would actually compliment me on how I dealt with some form of tyrant at the table next to them.  They’d say things like, ”Wow.  You handled that well.”  And I’d think, “Yeah.  I did, didn’t I?”  I’ve known countless servers and managers who consistently were unable to deal with rude or demanding guests.  And guess what?  They didn’t make it long in the industry, decided to work in the back of the house (a.k.a. the kitchen) or continued to live a miserable existence because they weren't ever suited for that position in the first place, but for some reason, wouldn't leave it either.

All of these people-driven personality traits are what you need to be successful in this industry.  If you embrace all kinds of humanity at the core, if you love helping people, if you’re a people pleaser, if you’re a natural actor, if you’re generally a happy person (and logically, loving the art of food and drink is advantageous), then I’d say you have the right personality to venture into a career in the industry.

Consider it on the flip side of the perspective… If you are anti-social, generally hate people, see the glass half empty, don’t look forward to a nice meal out and don’t drink alcohol at all, this industry is not for you.   And even if you possess just one of these characteristics, you still might want to think twice before filling out a job application at a local restaurant.
~ HK ~

*** I knew I was going to write a closure piece since the day I walked out of that last restaurant.   Looking back at what I just wrote, it’s interesting how my brain dove right into the topic of personality traits suited for the industry.  That’s not what I intended to write about when I first cozied into the couch with my iced coffee and laptop.  Perhaps it stems from my frustrations with the last few months of my tenure where several people above me (rank wise) did not fit the restaurant personality standard and it bugged the hell out of me.  There's a high possibility I will expand on that topic one day in ‘Closure: Industry Insights.  Part Three (or Four or Five...), but for now, I’ll leave that subject alone.